It's been a while..

Sleeping at 5am never did anyone much good. But the autumn leaves and cider and smoke blowing out from the mouth, reeking of memories, did wonders. There has always been something about the night.

I'm the fray now. In the centre, if you like. Running.

Walking the walk I have learnt to love. Windows that sometimes go by in a flash. Those that I briefly glance at, smiling at the familiar me.

I like the old buildings. Don't quite like the alleyways I overlook.

I've learnt to be frazzled. But never let it seep in. It's ephemeral, you know.

I've learnt to make my peace with myself. At least on the good days. Make my peace with my awkwardness, latent aggression. and even with being on the periphery. I've made my peace with waking up to a grey sky. With 'alone'. I've made my peace with falling hair.

I sometimes yearn for listeners. Sometimes, I wish I remembered the stories I have tucked away.

I'm sure about my security blanket. After a long wait, I've found the circle around me.

I'm testing my ability to perform under pressure. But this year it's supposed to be a 100%...